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Comeback Super Fail…

Hello all, I am back.  (Already!? I hear you gasp.)  Yes, already.  Today I am here to recount a story of the mother of all Fails.  And the idiot in question? Moi.

Occasionally, we get prank calls at work.  Being a large Asian company and all, every now and then an ignorant moron with too much time on his hands will attempt to get his kicks by calling in with ridiculous questions, or trying to initiate spastic dialogue in the hope that he will land a colleague who has lesser command of the English language.  It is notable, however that despite the accent or pronunciation issues that some staff have here, both their English and their intelligence is far beyond the dunces who call here for a laugh.

Anyway, so it’s not even lunch time and I am suffering from sleep deprivation of the worst kind.  Last night I barely slept because our Carbon Monoxide alarm decided to go off, making me too paranoid to go back to sleep for fear that nobody would wake up in the morning. Thankfully everyone did wake up, me in particular looking like death warmed up.  Perhaps this is a symptom of Carbon Monoxide poisoning, who knows.  Whilst we’re at it I’d like to attribute my forthcoming denseness to aforesaid poisoning also. I didn’t even know we had a Carbon Monoxide alarm…

Ok so everything is progressing as normal when I get caught off guard by a phone call.  The tell-tale stupid voice and retarded dialogue raises my prank alarm and I assume my (T_T)  face over the phone.  I can tell already that it is a teenage boy with the estimated IQ of 5, and a group of his equally challenged friends in the background.

The funny thing is, usually it’s quite hard to determine whether a prank caller is REALLY a prank caller, or just really stupid… (in stark contrast to the only occasional prank call, we get a LOT of genuine morons).  For example, there was one who sounded like a grown man.  Firstly it was probably my fault for assuming that once a man is grown, he would miraculously STOP being a total tit.  And secondly I should have noted that plenty of young boys are sounding like grown men awfully early nowadays.  Anyhow – assuming it was an adult on the phone, I was lead to believe that he had genuine questions to ask regarding stock.  That is of course until he started asking if we sold sausage, and how long our sausage was… (T_T;) By that time, which was several minutes into the conversation, any opportunity for an intelligent, joke-deflating comeback was long gone.

So, with that experience under my belt, my prank alarm sounded the instant this boy started speaking.  Assuming my (T_T) face as per mentioned above, I set about readying myself for the joke-deflation manoeuvre.  The boy started with, ‘nee howww…’ to which I replied, ‘can I help you?’ and this obviously wasn’t what he expected, so he repeated himself in an obnoxious half-idiot, half-something else voice.  The stunted silence from his end after I snuffed him out, should have been the satisfying moment when his joke completely face-planted.  Of course, being sleep deprived and mildly poisoned, I wrongly decided to put him in his place, and ended up coming out with this:

“Do you not have anything better to do than to have brank calls?…”

……Yeaah go figure.  My one and only chance to get one up on an idiot and I get total brain diarrhoea.

 ommggg

To top it all off, that gave them exactly what they wanted and the receiver erupted with laughter from the other end.

Le sigh.

Before I finish, let me explain the thought process involved in this particular fart, because poisoning aside, I usually can speak properly:

 

Brainfartdiag 

31101407-2-1c324

Ah well.  I’m glad that’s over.  Thanks for reading! 

 

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  1. Philip Neil Lane
    June 14, 2010 at 7:48 am

    Ouch! So close to a nice one as well!

  2. June 14, 2010 at 11:07 am

    Ahh!!

    I love this, you never fail to make me piss myself laughing. Thank you!

    B xxx

    • June 14, 2010 at 10:32 pm

      Hehehhee I’m glad, even if you are laughing AT me. LOL! xxx Hope you are having an amazing time!!

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